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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22610458">three o'clock in the morning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/agotdamnclown/pseuds/agotdamnclown'>agotdamnclown</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ADHD Character, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Insomnia, One Shot, Overthinking, Self-Esteem Issues, leo honey im so sorry, no beta we die like men, no i promise his family doesn't hate him, we just overthink a lot. no matter how stupid we know we sound. also anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:16:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22610458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/agotdamnclown/pseuds/agotdamnclown</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s almost three o’clock in the morning and he can’t sleep because his pops had barely trusted him.</p><p>--</p><p>a brain that overthinks and rejection do not mix well.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>318</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>three o'clock in the morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I HAVE OTHER STUFF TO BE WORKING ON but then i thought of this and said "hm. no"</p><p>this is all based off of my personal experiences and thoughts (despite the fact that i don't have an official adhd diagnosis lol)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s almost three o’clock in the morning and he can’t sleep because his pops had barely trusted him.</p><p> </p><p>You wouldn’t have to tell Leo outright for him to know that this is <em> stupid. </em> Because it’s the third time in one week he’s been kept up at night by his warped thoughts, and he knows it’s for a <em> stupid </em> reason. <em> Stupid, stupid, stupid. </em> He wants to take a jackhammer to his brain until it finally gets the message and quits what it’s always been doing, but of course it isn’t that simple. He’s only the face man, the guy who cracks jokes and mocks villains, but <em> he </em> isn’t <em>stupid.</em></p><p> </p><p>It’s almost three o’clock in the morning and he can only think of how likely it was that <em> none </em> of them trusted him.</p><p> </p><p>It was weird. He wasn’t so… <em> upset </em> about it at first - hell, he had barely even cared when his dad constantly vocalized his distrust, even after his slight outburst in the Nexus. Perhaps all the adrenaline wouldn’t allow his brain to slow down and actually, really <em> think. </em>Leo was glad for that - he couldn’t have afforded to stop and get emotional. But now that the whole thing was wearing off, after three days straight of beatings and battles, he lay in his dark room - lit up with nothing but his too bright phone screen - and thinks.</p><p> </p><p>It’s almost three o’clock in the morning and he wonders why no one trusted him.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a <em> stupid </em> question. He knows why, of <em> course </em> he does. <em> Stupid </em> decisions in the past mixed with his tendency to take things with a mask of carelessness and arrogance meant it was inevitable that his family would hardly trust him to do anything <em> too </em> important. He knew this, of course, and had already accepted it. His <em> stupid </em> brain didn’t, however, and frankly it was becoming tiring. He was tired of putting energy that could go into <em> anything else </em> into displaying some… arrogant, prideful, laid-back mask for a turtle who was anything but. He was tired of his brain taking simple throwaway comments and warping them into piles of self-doubt and nagging thoughts of <em> did they really mean that? oh god they did they must hate him. why do they hate him? he must have done something wrong. terrible. he’s terrible, the </em> worst. He was tired of his heart painfully tightening past the point of suffocation whenever his brothers made an offhanded joke about something <em>stupid</em> he did in the past, of jokingly calling him “their Champion” with sarcasm dripping from their voices. It was <em> stupid. </em> He deserved that, though. He was just selfish, wasn’t he? Selfish, arrogant, putting his own desire for <em> any kind of praise </em> above his family’s safety, for a <em> stupid </em> photo on a <em> stupid </em> wall. <em> Stupid. </em></p><p> </p><p>It’s almost three o’clock in the morning and he’s furiously digging the heels of his palm into his eyes, jaw aching from the pressure of stifling a sob. <em> Stupid. </em></p><p> </p><p>They don’t just distrust him. They <em> hate </em>him. Of course, why wouldn’t they? He deserves it. He deserves all of their anger. He doesn’t deserve to feel sad about it. It’s his fault. All his fault.</p><p> </p><p>It’s three o’clock in the morning and he feels <em> stupid. </em></p>
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